Do You Have the “Blahs?”
What are the “Blahs?”
Turns out this mix of feelings including fatigue / low energy, indifference, irritability, and lack of joy / existential crises has a name... it’s called languishing. You can read more about languishing here from the brilliant Adam Grant.
As Grant’s article discusses, we seem to be experiencing languishing like never before. It can be confusing for folks to manage as it doesn’t always feel impactful enough to seek out therapy, yet is something people want to do something about.
So how can you get rid of the “blahs?”
Here are a few things you can try to move through this period of languishing.
Seeking out opportunities to experience “flow.” Flow describes the feeling of when you are immersed in something you are passionate about. Time seems to either stand still or rush by when you are in flow. Pieces seem to fall together effortlessly. There is a lowkey joy that is felt in flow. What activities can you seek out in YOUR life to get you into flow? For me, it’s playing the piano. I lose myself in the music (hello, inner Marshall Mathers) and I have been trying to do this daily.
Set some time boundaries around your opportunities to rest or recreate. This might look like a protected evening each week after dinner where you get to visit with friends, pursue a hobby/passion, or lounge on the couch with your favourite book / Netflix show /podcast. The only rules are you can’t use this time towards your job or home-care tasks. In our family, I have Tuesday evenings blocked off. My partner does our children’s bedtimes and I can choose to relax or organize a social outing. He has the same opportunity Friday evenings.
Lowering your expectations…like really lowering them. Sometimes we set goals in an effort to get ourselves out of the funk of languishing. But we set them way too high. I’m talking “I’m going to go to the gym / exercise everyday after work to get my energy levels back up,” or “I’m going to set my alarm earlier every day to get some quiet morning time to myself before the kids wake,” or “I’m going to stop eating takeout and cook all my meals at home.” The key issue with all of these goals is the “everyday” or “all” parts. Recently, I read the book “Tiny Habits” by BJ Fogg and learned so much about how to whittle down big goals into ones we might achieve. Setting realistic goals, that start out tiny, can help to build in feelings of accomplishment. Even better, if the tiny goals we create are based in self and community care, we get the one-two punch of accomplishment and love / compassion.
Practicing gratitude… an oldie but a goodie. There’s a variety of ways we can incorporate gratitude into our daily lives. Some text their friend / partner 3 things they are grateful for that day (bonus if you keep each other accountable). Some write their gratitude down in a journal (digital or pen / paper). Others share what they’re grateful for at the family dinner table or at bedtime with kiddos. It can take a minute to sort out which type of gratitude practice will work for you, so don’t give up if you find you’re not a “journal person.”
Back to basics: am I feeding and resting my body enough? People rarely thrive when they aren’t fueling their body. Same goes for sleep. Checking in with your sleep hygiene and food habits to ensure that your basic needs are being met can be an often overlooked strategy in getting out of the “blahs.” In my home, when things start going off the rails, the first thing I try to get curious about is whether we are fed, and if our sleep habits are off. This can be really common in the summertime, around holidays / travel, and other times of transition. If you’re struggling with keeping yourself fed because it’s challenging to plan / prepare meals, there are some good options like GoodFood, Chef’s Plate, etc. that often offer really great deals to get you back on track with meals.
These are just a few ideas to help you explore how the “blahs” might be showing up in your life, and perhaps some ways to help shift them a little. If you’re seeking more support on moving through the “blahs,” you can contact the therapists at InnerWorks here and find someone who can best match your needs.
