The “Mom-cation”
For the past several years, I’ve done what I call a mom-cation. A little getaway by myself. I don’t usually go far, but 2 nights in an Airbnb alone once a year has changed my life.
** Before getting any further into this, I want to be clear that I recognize the privilege involved in being able to do this - flexible job, supportive spouse and extended family, and resources that make this possible.
The first time I did this, I booked 2 nights at this lovely little suite in Paris, Ontario (still a good Paris to visit!). I packed my bags, drove for an hour, and showed up to find the host was not home. Didn’t answer the phone. Nothing.
I checked my reservation to find her phone number, only to realize I had arrived a day early.
I was devastated and mortified. I had planned so many things to make this little trip happen and I failed. Or so I thought. I called my husband in tears and was ready to cancel the whole thing.
Mercifully, he encouraged me to find another place to stay for the night, then head to my Airbnb the next day. But nothing was to be found. So I drove home and cried some more.
The next day I repacked my bag and drove right back. I was tired, feeling loads of shame, and seriously doubting myself. But I was determined to make this happen, even if I was miserable the whole time.
Guess what? I loved it. I slept. I drank coffee. I had dinner at a restaurant by myself. I got lots of work and planning done. I went for hikes. I was away.
I came home feeling like a new person, and ready to be in my life again.
I’ve since gone somewhere every year. Sometimes close, sometimes farther. Not always entirely by myself - a couple of times to visit a family member far away, twice on retreat with other therapists.
Getting away has made all the difference. To be able to be alone, to not have to take care of anyone else, to have time and space to think about business and the future. To reflect on myself and the life I’m creating. It’s a gift.
The first few times I did loads of over-planning. I made sure the laundry was done, the children were with extended family, the groceries purchased and meals planned for when I was away. I wanted to make it easier for my husband. One time, he stopped me and said, “you know I know how to do these things, right?” Yes. He does know how to do these things. Not the same way I do them, but that’s totally fine. It gets easier as the kids get older—they play outside with their friends and require less hands-on care.
While I miss my family lots while I’m away, getting away is my antidote for missing myself when life gets too hectic.
“Getting away doesn’t fix everything, but it’s one thing I do for myself that allows me to be a person again.”
Big or small, what does getting away look like for you? Taking a day off work and just being alone? Arranging someone else to care for your kids so you can have a few hours to yourself? A small one-night or weekend getaway? Whatever you can make work in your life, consider this one criteria: do it alone. This is not a girls weekend or a date night. This is for you.
See what it feels like to be in your own company, doing whatever you want, not having to meet anyone else’s needs. All those needs will still be there when you return.
