Self-Care for the Holidays: 2020 Edition

For a season that’s supposed to bring us tidings of comfort and joy, the holidays can often leave us feeling the complete opposite. Tired. Stressed. Busy. Bleh. The solution we’re all told to do? Self-Care! It fixes everything!

Whenever the conversation of Self-Care comes up around women, I hear a round of “Yeah, I should probably do more of that. But who has the time?” Or “I got a massage, but I was so wound up, it didn’t even help.” Or “I feel so selfish/lazy/unproductive when I do something for myself.”

Friends. Being a little bit selfish is necessary to our survival. We CANNOT keep giving/doing/pouring out/helping/caretaking without somehow filling up and recharging. As Brene Brown recounts in her book Braving the Wilderness, we cannot always be exhaling. We also have to inhale in order to survive.

Rest IS productive. And if you’re worried about being lazy, I can guarantee you that is the last thing you are, simply because you are worried about it. People who are actually lazy are not at all concerned about it.

Self-Care is not the same as Me First. Self-Care is not the same as indulgence. Sometimes there are elements of these things, but at its core, Self-Care is about being good to yourself.

Over the holiday season, it can seem as though there’s just no time for such things. So, let’s start by taking a different perspective on it. Rather than adding in things, let see what we can eliminate:

• Negative self-talk

• Unrealistic expectations of yourself and others

• Overachieving

• Guilt

• Perfectionism

• Overspending

• Busyness

Now let’s add in what matters: 

• Joy

• Presence

• Meaning

• Generosity

• Connection

• Simplicity

• Self-compassion

• Rest

As you read through the first list, pay attention to your physical and mental response to the words. Now notice what happens as you read through the second list. Say the words out loud. Notice if there’s an inner “yes, but” that’s happening. That’s normal. Allow yourself to sit with that urge to continue to Do and Perform and Achieve.  

Imagine what it would be like to do just a little less of List 1, and a little more of List 2. We’re not aiming for a massive life overhaul; we’re not aiming for perfection.

For Holiday Season 2020, we’re aiming for a little less stress and a little more joy..